Gone too long...

As many of you know one of my last posts was way back at the beginning of my much prayed for pregnancy. My family and I endured some VERY difficult times. I will not drag you all down by posting what went on but I will say that, our move out west was short lived. It was a very difficult time for us and we decided to come back to our roots and be near family at a time when we needed them most. Despite my very difficult pregnancy I made it through hand have a beautiful month old baby girl name Ruari (Celtic name pronounced Rory). She is a wonderful addition to our family, and brings us the feeling of completion we were desperate for for so long.

I am going to ease back into blogging and things may really change on my blog. The look mostly. I will be designing a new header in the next couple of days. I will not be blogging on a daily basis, but I will blog often again, like I used to. Now that my pregnancy is over and life is getting back to some sort of normalcy I actually feel up to blogging rather than hiding from the world like I have been for a long while. My problem was in the fact that, despite being excited and thrilled about being pregnant and expecting our #2, too many bad things were going on some relating to my pregnancy some relating to our move, leaving me feeling like blogging would just depress my readers and turn them away. I didn't want to feel like a downer or like I had nothing nice to blog about.

Starting now I will close the chapter of my life that contained such sadness and reflect the bliss I now feel after getting past it all and giving birth to my sweet little girl.

I hope many of you will be back to read like you used to.

I promise to add her birth story and some pics from the day she was born.

Love,

Coleen
XOXOXO

Almost there.....

Need I say more?

Update on my Dr.s appointment

I went in thinking they would be doing an ultrasound. I was so excited! It was a bit disappointing to find out that I have to wait until I am 20 weeks to have an ultrasound done. She doesn't see any sense in "burdening" the health care system with ultrasounds that are just to see a blob. Whatever. (I was crushed). Then she did an internal, Apparently I look pretty good inside (ewww) but then the bleeding started again, she said I have NOTHING to worry about as far as the bleeding goes. I have a sensitive cervix, and she said I am likely to bleed all through my pregnancy. Then onto the Doppler to hear the heartbeat!!! Yay I was so excited.. She found it almost right away listened for about 10 beats then stopped and asked me if we have a history of twins in our families. I told her Chris does... She commented that she was hearing "an echo" and that rather than have me come back at 20 weeks she wants me back at 16 and she will requisition the ultrasound then. She said sometimes the echo can happen because of the position but she said there may be a possibility of twins... The colour drained from my face...

OMG- Now I have to wait another month with that on my mind...

The bottom line is that the baby(ies) doing fine the heart beat was 169 which she said was nice and strong. This jelly tot is sticking around!

An old funny story.....

This is one of those stories that has you laughing for years to come. It happened when I was about 13. My family had gone to pick apples and the next day my dad decided he would play Martha Stewart and bake some apple pies when my mom was at work. He peeled, sliced etc for hours prepping 4 pies. Just before he added the crust he decided to sprinkle some brown sugar all over the tops. This was at a time when my mom was a huge BULK shopper and everything was in the same type of container. 30 minutes into the baking process I came out and could smell chicken.. mmm!

Of course my dad said I was nuts because there was no way I was smelling chicken, that I smell apples. So I went to the kitchen and sniffed inside the oven... I could see pies but smelled chicken.

I called my Dad and insisted I was right, and that something MUST be wrong. He pulled them out of the oven and sheepishly agreed that he too could smell chicken.

Turns out the "brown sugar" was Shakin' Bake..Gross!

We have NEVER and will never let him live that down.

In other news tomorrow we have an appointment with our OB to do all the critical checks and to determine why I have been bleeding. I am scared and on edge still, and praying for a heartbeat. I'll post an update tomorrow later in the day.

Love,

Coleen
XOXOXOXOXO

Really Bad Night...

Austin had a HUGE breakdown last night. Cried all night and said he wanted to run away. He doesn't want to be here anymore and if we don't take him home he will'' find his own way" to get there himself basically threatening to run away. He has NEVER done anything like this at all. I sat up most of the night with a blanket so he couldn't get by me.. We reminded him that we're planning to go home next summer and he didn't care, said he wants to go home now, not next year. I cried for hours and when I tried to go back to bed at 3:00 he was still awake crying... He said he feels like we don't care about his concerns and that if we did we wouldn't force him to stay here. We talk about nearly everything with Austin, except money. So it's hard for him to understand why we can't go now. The truth is our savings are gone after spending months in a hotel at $100/night... We need time to save money in order to go home...Chris said he's gonna look for another job at night that will pay more. There's really nothing I can do at the moment. Chris said as long as I can pull in enough (once I am given the all clear) to cover the groceries and small things that he can do the rest. He doesn't want me working full time right now and thats what I was hired to do. He told me to concentrate on finding something part time. He's gonna bust his butt to make enough money that maybe we can go home by Christmas. Austin seemed relieved at the thought we might go home sooner. Our lease is up December 1st, and Chris wants to go then. I am just sick with worry and I wish we never came here to begin with.

My advice to you: If you are really close with your extended family and are contemplating a long distance move. Make damn sure you can really handle being away from family before you go. And don't bother trying to convince yourself, you won't be fooling anyone.