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Saturday 6 January 2007

Revelation and resolution

I used to weigh 130lbs but childbirth, marriage, take out, comfort food and laziness have brought me to this:





I saw that I am precariously close to 250lbs. In fact I currently weigh 248lbs. I used to tell my husband to shoot me if I ever weighed 250lbs. What was I thinking. I don't want him to shoot me. I hope he really won't but to be on the safe side I have to drop way down to avoid it. I am tired all the time and just aren't the same person I was when I was skinny. I am admitting for the first time EVER that I am self conscious and despite the facade of a strong confident person, my weight hampers how I feel about myself and I am sick of it. I refuse to gain 2 more pounds. I will not hit 250, now or ever. I love junk food and I hate exercise. Tough combo eh? Well, I can honestly say that in all my 29 years I have never made a New Years resolution. Easier to avoid failure that way. Until the other day I stepped on a scale for the first time in years and what I saw killed me. I realized that I have to act now before it's to late for me. It was scary and horrifying. As a way to hold myself accountable I decided to share this painful bit of personal info with all of you too. I figure that once my resolution is "out there". You all can share your weight stories positive and negative. You can motivate me or YELL at me or something. Whatever you do at least it is a place for me to document what I need to share. I have goals for myself but I need to be realistic so for now I am shooting for 25lbs. Once I hit that I will reward myself with a pedicure and hair cut. After that I will set a new goal.
Most women keep their weight a secret, especially when you begin to have a few extra pounds. I am no different. Believe me when I say I truly am shaking and scared to death to post this but I really have hit "rock bottom" and I know that this is what I need to. No one is going to pull me outta my house with a crane to take me to the Maury Povich Show damn it! I have created another blog and you can find the link to it at the top and bottom of this blog. For those of you who wish to follow my progress you can go there, for those of you who are not interested you can still keep coming here for all the regular stuff. Now for the hard part......

clicking the publish button....

Any second now....

Deep breath.....

and....

click.

13 comments:

  1. I am in awe of you dear Coleen. You are my new hero. And, I gotta tell ya, I am right there with you. I thought that you had taken a picture of MY scale! But, you are so much braver than I am...you are an amazing woman.
    I am trying to eat better and lose weight gradually...good luck to you and well, to US!
    Hey, those cute husbands still love us cause we are still catches right? : )

    Thank you for being you...

    Love and hugs,
    Sue

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  2. I'm right here with you girlfriend, my highest weight was 303 and got down to 210 this past summer.... Now I'm back up some... Boo Hoo... You can do it and especially with all the support from our wonderful blogger buddies... Good Luck and I'm rutting for you.....

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  3. Coleen, I'm so proud of you and admire you for having the guts to post that. I know you can reach any goal you have the determination to reach!

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  4. Just posting this shows you've got determination to stick to your resolution. Best wishes to get it done. I know you can!

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  5. Anonymous8:37 am

    Oh, I am so with you. Doesn't it suck? I hate nor do I have time to excerice and I like junk food too.
    Sucks so bad.....I used to say if I ever get to be like my Mom shoot me, and guess what? My Mom weighs more than me, she's taller but I wear bigger sizes than she does :(

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  6. You are a brave woman, Coleen! We are so proud of you for your determination. I think it's great that you have set yourself up with small obtainable goals. That's the way to go! Good Luck!

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  7. Coleen ... I too am a "fluffy" gal and can totally relate. I wish you the best of luck with your goal. I honestly believe setting attainable goals is the way to reach a long-term goal. You were very, very brave to hit that publish button ... thank you for doing so, it's so nice to know that we as individuals, are not in this struggle alone.

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  8. Coleen, I wish you the very best of success with your "dirty secret" and you put it. I think by taking it one step at a time you will reach your goal...and I also think the fact that you plan to reward yourself with a "beauty treatment" is wonderful. Actually, I think you should begin with a special pedicure because you had the determination to post "your secret". Trust me, I understand...my weight is my most closely guarded secret. Good luck!!!

    Oh, and in answer to your question. as soon as Jolene provides me with an address for Chad I will get his party started for the monthly mailing of his care packages.

    Hugs,
    Andi

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  9. I'm so proud of the courage you showed to post this!! I know it took a lot for you to do so!!
    We will all be rooting you on and encouraging you along the way. I know you can lose those first 25 pounds!!! (And what a wonderful idea to give yourself rewards as you go along!!!) You can do it!!!

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  10. Coleen...I have faith in you and I'm so proud of you for posting this. I was 105 when I got married and now I'm 176. I know all women carry their weight different. I carry most of mine in my tummy, which makes me look pregnant. My goal is to be under 150...I don't care if it's 149, just so it's under. So you're not alone...we can do it together. I know Teresa is working on this too.

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  11. Anonymous1:39 am

    Coleen,
    I am extremely proud of you for posting this! You know why??? I don't now, but I at one time weighed ??? pounds(let's just say more than your 248...see I can't even say my old weight...I don't have that kind of courage) and I made a decision to change that and changed my life for the better in so many ways...so I honestly know what you are going through and how you feel...I KNOW that it took LOTS OF COURAGE to post this and click that publish button....
    Losing weight is not an easy task...but the pros out number the cons. I am rooting for you and am right here in your cheering stand!
    Best wishes girl!
    I would love to be your cheerleader and love to talk to you sometime....
    Take care!

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  12. Hi Colleen,

    I'm wanting to loose around 15-20 lbs, and seems like this on a lot of other peoples' minds too! Keep us updated on how you're doing...and good luck!

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  13. Anonymous11:15 am

    I'm really proud of you! We are all here for you. You can totally do this.

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Thanks for a taking a moment to let me know your thoughts! I love comments!

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