Revelation and resolution

I used to weigh 130lbs but childbirth, marriage, take out, comfort food and laziness have brought me to this:

I saw that I am precariously close to 250lbs. In fact I currently weigh 248lbs. I used to tell my husband to shoot me if I ever weighed 250lbs. What was I thinking. I don't want him to shoot me. I hope he really won't but to be on the safe side I have to drop way down to avoid it. I am tired all the time and just aren't the same person I was when I was skinny. I am admitting for the first time EVER that I am self conscious and despite the facade of a strong confident person, my weight hampers how I feel about myself and I am sick of it. I refuse to gain 2 more pounds. I will not hit 250, now or ever. I love junk food and I hate exercise. Tough combo eh? Well, I can honestly say that in all my 29 years I have never made a New Years resolution. Easier to avoid failure that way. Until the other day I stepped on a scale for the first time in years and what I saw killed me. I realized that I have to act now before it's to late for me. It was scary and horrifying. As a way to hold myself accountable I decided to share this painful bit of personal info with all of you too. I figure that once my resolution is "out there". You all can share your weight stories positive and negative. You can motivate me or YELL at me or something. Whatever you do at least it is a place for me to document what I need to share. I have goals for myself but I need to be realistic so for now I am shooting for 25lbs. Once I hit that I will reward myself with a pedicure and hair cut. After that I will set a new goal.
Most women keep their weight a secret, especially when you begin to have a few extra pounds. I am no different. Believe me when I say I truly am shaking and scared to death to post this but I really have hit "rock bottom" and I know that this is what I need to. No one is going to pull me outta my house with a crane to take me to the Maury Povich Show damn it! I have created another blog and you can find the link to it at the top and bottom of this blog. For those of you who wish to follow my progress you can go there, for those of you who are not interested you can still keep coming here for all the regular stuff. Now for the hard part......

clicking the publish button....

Any second now....

Deep breath.....

and....

click.

Shocking resolution- my dirty little secret.

This picture in no way represents how I felt the morning of January 2007. I swear I was good. Everyone makes and breaks their New Years resolutions so many people done even bother to make one. Well my friends (and family) I have one. It will be shocking and horrific. I will be baring all for my blogging "family" to see. It will be awful, scary and probably a nightmare. For those of you brave enough. Please stop by tomorrow for the excruciating truth to be revealed.

In the mean time here are some that I have been contemplating:

*Spend more time outdoors.

*Get in the picture

*Eat better

*Dedicate more time to scrap booking

*Go home more often to visit

*Be silly

*Stop over-analyzing EVERYTHING so much

*Breathe

*Catch up on my list of tasks that is so far behind.

*Create a "to do before I die list" and cross off at least 1 thing each year.

*Stop making so many lists. (lol, like that'll EVER happen.)

*Get away at least once every quarter.

*Tell myself that sunglasses, a pina colada, flip flops and having the heat cranked does not count towards "getting away".

*Credit the people who impact my life and make sure they know it.

Don't forget to stop by tomorrow for the painful revelation of my 2007 New Year's Resolution. It will be revealing in the highest sense possible. I am shaking now about the fact that I will bare my secret to you all. I hope I don't change my mind.