It's that time of year. You know, the time of year when we sit around the fireplace roasting chestnuts, enjoying spiced cider and singing Christmas carols until late in the evening. Then with our hearts filled with comfort and joy we head to bed in our comfy pj's for a long winters nap. While the snow gently falls blanketing the earth in white sparkles for us to wake up to.
Um, who are you kidding. That paints a lovely picture, but it sure isn't the reality for many of us these days. It's more like working overtime to scrape together the money for the overindulgent gifts the kids are asking for. Pulling on winter gear to head out in to the mucky, slushy streets to hit up the mall filled with rage fuelled shoppers to get the items you can't really afford in an effort to be the perfect parents to your tech savvy kids. Then you come home whip together a meal to feed your starving family, get them into bed so you can sit breaking your back, wrapping the kiddies presents for hours on end.
Sure we squeeze in some great family time and see people we haven't seen much through the year. We enjoy seeing our kids as the light up when opening that top request on their "must-have" list. But when all is said and done the holidays are long and exhausting, by the time they are over you need a vacation to recover, the problem is after the money you've just shovelled out you have no money left for a vacation!
In the last few weeks I've taken a good hard look at my finances and while I am please to say I am in a better place this year than l was last year. That just means we're not under a mountain of debt. It means that we are managing to keep the bills paid as best we can and are no longer adding to our debt each month. Being off work for 3 years was a huge setback but one that was necessary for me, medically speaking. Despite that, my husband and I nearly killed ourselves coming up with the money to place a check mark beside all the items on their lists. We will NOT be doing that this year.
This year things are changing.
Recently someone in my circle mentioned this method for looking at Christmas shopping. Something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read. I can't remember who told me about this, and for that I am sorry, but I thank them from the bottom of my heart for mentioning it to me. It was like a switch flipped on inside my head that allowed me to see a way out of the stress we put on ourselves each year. Call it my "aha! moment" if you will. It's an Oprah-created-cliche, yes, but for me that's what it was.
I will we explaining to my children (mostly Aussie- 15) that this is the way we are doing things this year so he must think very deeply about what he wants to put on that list. He may ask for 4 items and each must must fill only one category. It will be hard. I know Roo-4 will not notice in the slightest, but Aussie is going to feel it and it's going to sting, he's the one who has had 15 Christmases of getting EVERY SINGLE ITEM on his list, no matter how extravagant. I pray he understands and acts accordingly. Even if he doesn't the decision has been made.
Mama and the Hubs are scaling back, way, way back. It's to save our sanity, which might have been lost for good if we had to go through Christmas the way we have been in the past few years.
Something you want,
Something you need,
Something to wear,
and something to read
I'd love to hear your thoughts on this new cost cutting mantra?
My hubby and I do not exchange gifts, and haven't for years. Nor, do we give each other gifts from the kids. I admit, sometimes it make me kind of sad, but we would rather spend our money on the kids in our life.
ReplyDeleteOur children know they will receive one "large" gift - so they get their requests in.
We are the same way. No gifts between us for the most part. At least nothing big. We prefer to put the focus on our kids too. Noting makes me feel more joy during the holidays than seeing my kids excited and happy!
DeleteI really like your "list"! I'll admit I spoil my family at Christmas but I have never done it to the point where it created me any financial hardship. We draw names in our extended family except for the kids who get something from everyone (there are only two kids in the entire family). However, there have been times when we've scaled back on purpose if there was something else we needed or wanted to spend money on. The Christmas before we got married my husband and I agreed to go light on the gifts and our wedding rings were the "big" gifts.
ReplyDeleteSometimes making the gifts be something big and meaningfil is the way to go. You'll always remember what you got that year! If it has been some popular techy gift you might not remember it like you will with it being your rings! I love that.
DeleteI love that saying! My new motto this year too!
ReplyDeleteIt just makes sense! Glad you are loving it as much as I am.
DeleteI love everything about this post. It really puts things in perspective. We will also be scaling back this Christmas. I'm not for dropping tons of money on gifts and stressing myself out financially and emotionally. Christmas should be about enjoying time as a family, not all the materialistic things.
ReplyDeleteAmen! You said exactly what I believe; it's not about the "stuff" its about the togetherness and creating memories
DeleteI love the list. Although I have to admit I go a bit overboard with the kids, this is definitely something to consider doing and teach them to do the same. This Christmas won't be as much as the previous ones were, with electronics being heavy on the Christmas list that means less things under the tree.
ReplyDeleteI don't think you are alone. I think the majority of us tend to go overboard, If I could afford it I probably still would. But I can't so it's time to think differently.
DeleteI think that idea - sounds like a great plan! When I was a kid, we never got everything on our Christmas list. My girls aren't old enough to make lists yet, but we have an idea of what they want... and I don't think I'd ever buy them everything they ask for. They can learn to wait for some things - or, when they are older, to save up their own money and get it for themselves. That's what Mommy and Daddy have to do! :)
ReplyDeleteHi my dear you read it on my blog... we have done Christmas this way for years now... and will not do it any other way now that we have switched. It works well for us. We also donate to family/children in need to my children always no how to give back. So glad you are scaling back it is so going to be worth it.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh! I was hoping I'd figure out where I read it! It is going to be huge for us! I already feel less stressed about it! Thank you!
DeleteI LOVE THIS! We are feeling the exact same way. We also donate to families and kids who need items more than we do. We aren't rich monetarily, but rich in so many other ways. ;)
ReplyDeleteI love this. I will be adding this to our tradition of making home made gifts for each other. We all make something home made, started it a few years ago. I call it an old fashioned Christmas and it is so nice to see all the things people think of. Truly beautiful and much more meaningful as well. Cheers!
ReplyDeleteWe have already talked about scaling back this year and I love this idea...Something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read. I LOVE it and I'm going to discuss this with the family, thanks so much!!
ReplyDeleteI follow that saying - we started last year and have continued it this year also
ReplyDeleteI love that idea! I've been trying to scale back too, not just because of finances, but also because I don't want my kids to expect a mountain load of gifts every year. I don't want them to associate Christmas with just gifts and making us feel like we have to match or top last year. I love that saying! So perfect :)
ReplyDeleteI love this idea. I heard about it a year or two ago and would love to start doing it in our family. Maybe I will try this year! Thank you for the reminder.
ReplyDelete