April Fools!

My sister absolutely hates Mayonnaise and/or Miracle Whip.

Her hatred runs long and deep.

So wouldn't THAT be the best April Fools prank ever??

Here's the photo that says it all:

Disgusting, right? Even those of us who like sandwich spreads wouldn't even dream of eating a jar of it straight from a spoon.

Well here's the prank, and trust me it's so very easy!!! 

*One empty jar of your brand of creamy sandwich spread. 

*Wash it out well then dry it.

*Make a boxed vanilla pudding (oh, you're getting it now aren't you? You're a smart cookie!)

*Fill empty jar with pudding and voila, easiest prank ever!

You're welcome!!!

What's the best prank you've ever pulled?

As promised

.

(albeit, a day late)
Remember this post about having a big secret?

Here is my big secret...

I DID NOT FINISH SCHOOL. So who cares right!? Lots of people didn't finish college or university right! I am like a lot of people!!!! Ok well let me start again:

I DID NOT FINISH HIGH SCHOOL. Yeah that got ya by surprise didn't it. You're horrified and shocked, right? Well I have told only a small number of people what this secret was. I had one guys jaw literally drop and his eyes got huge, in manner I've not seen in a while. Kinda like this:

Yeah, nice reaction buddy! I know he's gonna read this and swear he was cool with it, and maybe he is now but in the moment it was pure monkey shock and awe!

I mentioned it over coffee to a couple of close friends. One didn't have much to say, but I know that it was a surprise, and I also know she'll still love me anyway. The other one actually had guessed that that was my secret and since I trust her I felt confident that it wouldn't be a problem. After all my truest of friends won't care that I am not University educated in the art of friendship.

Getting past that, now what? Well I was faced with a few options.
1.) Do nothing and keep hiding my shame, go through life as I always have (suffering with a case of the "dumbs")
2.) Get my GED and be done with it. After all I get one of these that says I'm equal to a graduate
3.) Tackle the embarassment head on and GO BACK TO HIGH SCHOOL. What the f*ck? Did I just say that? Yup. It's an option right?

So what do you think I did? I chose option #3, yup the hard option. The one that will have me finish high school properly. I'll even get a cap & gown ceremony at a real high school (my son's high school actually.. can you say AWE-SOME! I can but her likely won't. Wonder how he'll feel when I tell him I'm deferring receipt of my diploma to 2015 so we can formally graduate on the SAME day!!) Yup I am the parent of the year, folks, did you ever doubt it? OK well you should have because after googling for an image of what that certificate would look like I learned that there isn't one. Ha! Jokes on me. I guess I thought it was real, because... well... I'm dumb. I have already proven that in my admission to bein a high school drop out. Are you following me still?

All joking aside. I am going back to school. I am doing it for me. I am proud of my decision. I hope my son will be proud of me too, and the secret shame he feels of having a drop out for a mom will be gone soon.

So now you know!! It's all out there! Now I need to enjoy my last few days of being a lady of leisure. Because next week, this chicka is rolling back the clocks and redoing 1994! School starts on Monday!
Wish me luck good grades!

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NOTE: The feelings expessed in this post reflect soley the views I feel towards MYSELF for not finishing school and how that impacted my career goals. This does not mean I feel that others in the same situation are losers or that they have less worth than those who finished.

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Skeletons in the closet...

Lots of people have skeletons in their closets. I am no different. Mine's been hiding for almost 1.5 decades. People who were paying attention back in the day might know about it, but almost guaranteed they've forgotten by now. My family knows, though they're kind enough to at least pretend to forget to save my feelings. If I've met you in the last decade, chances aer you don't know this MONUMENTAL embarrassment about yours truly (errr... not so truly really). Not that I have ever lied about it. I've been misleading for sure. When this conversation comes up I nod smile and agree, all while carefully crafting my literary selection to evade being "outed".

This one is a doozie!

On the bright side of things some recent events have made it resurface. Though it's been scratching just below the surface for a while now. I have faced my fears and have begun making the necessary steps to correct this colossal secret. Of course once I actually begin repairing the damage, people ARE going to find out. I know that. I am ready for that. After dealing with THIS side of my life, I know that whatever doesn't kill us makes us far stronger in the end. So go ahead laugh,point your fingers at me while doing so if you must. It WON'T stop me for seeking out my own personal justice. It's something I am doing for me, to help me to be happier in my own skin and to help me find the person that I want to become.

I know what you're thinking; "enough already just spit it out".

I promise I am not sharing a secret sister I never knew I had like Oprah did in all her drama-queenesque glory. But for me it's bigger. However you will have to wait just a little bit before I share this with you all. I need time. To come to grips with having this info out there. Once the motion has been set into place for ripping off the bandaid and heading for a more permanent resolution I'll blog about it.

Give me ONE week, ok?

Deeeep Breath... here I go!!! See you in a week!