This is my girl, I'll add more photos to the bottom.
I sit back and I think about the past 3 years regularly. Forget the terrible year struggling with severe PPD, my heart problems and forget that cancer ever came into my life. All that aside it's been a wonderful few years. The baby we longed for came into our lives on Feb 11th 2008. She came in a very rushed and scary way. Opting to get a head start to avoid being born on her scheduled day of Valentines Day. No way was my girl gonna share a date with a holiday, no sir, she needed a date where she could be the biggest thing to happen! She came into the world in a manner suited for our little drama queen!
We all fell in love the moment we knew of her tiny little existence. Over the course of these past 3 years, that existence has become anything but tiny. My girl is inquisitive, dramatic, animated, a fashionista in the making, demanding, adventurous, fiercely independent, and clearly lacking anything that resembles fear. She is a HUGE personality in our house and I love every second of it. Her softer side is shown through cupping my face in her hand gingerly and saying things like "mommy, I love you tooooo much!", and rubbing my surgery scars gently to feel the bumpiness, and asking if they still hurt. Like her brother Aussie, she is so wise and so comforting.
In many ways I feel like her first years of life were spent in the back seat of our lives, with me at the wheel driving erratically from one of my issues to another, just dragging her along. In other ways I think while there is some truth in that. I have not been unaware of how she's growing and changing. In the middle of the night when I lay awake I am constantly remembering all the amazing things she is doing and learning.
I haven't been as great at recording her life as I was with Aussie, but I have tried really really hard, that's gotta count for something right? God I hope so. I pray she never feels neglected in any way.
My sweet Miss Roo, I love you and I have been in love with you from the moment you were a mere thought shared between Daddy and I. For the rest of my life I will do what is best for you. You won't always like it but trust that right now my job is NOT to be your bff, but rather to be your mom. For me it means doing things the right way and not the easy way. Sometimes that job is harder for both of us than I'd like, but I promise that one day when the "job" portion of my relationship with you is done, we WILL be friends.
You're little and won't really understand this video, but it will serve as a reminder of what I want for you and the things I need to do and say to make sure you know it.
Happy 3rd birthday, I love you and I am so very proud to have been chosen by fate/God, whatever, to be YOUR Mom.
XOXOX
More photos of Roo:
As a baby born ON valentines day, I can appreciate your daughters choice! I too, feel like I have not recorded, remembered it all but I do know it's more important to be in the moment too, than to worry about recording it. Anyhow, as momsweare always gonna worry about something,right?
ReplyDeleteWow your little girl is stunning. really. and your love for her shines thru this post.
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